HumorSatireSatirical

Do Students Really Wake Up 5 Minutes Before Class?

Good or bad, online learning has given students the amazing opportunity to sleep at least an extra hour. Teachers, do you ever feel unappreciated just because we, students, do not turn on our cameras? Don’t be, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation.

I usually woke up at around 7:00 AM to go to school. After, I ate breakfast, showered, got changed, and drove. Things changed. Now, I wake up at 8:13 AM, a minute before class, go to the bathroom (I won’t give more details about this), put on a shirt and boxers, and hop onto Zoom. Not time to shower. The velocity at which all this is done is unparalleled. I didn’t even know I could do these things that fast. Not even as a baby (when I used to have incidents in my pants) did I change so fast.

Appearances don’t even matter anymore. Just throw on a hat or a hoodie and chill. Sorry to all of my mates who have to see me looking like a dumpster every single day. It is what it is. I’ll be more presentable once we get back to school, hopefully.

Sleep time is valuable, but sometimes I get caught in the moment. I have missed like a whole month’s worth of advisory because I overslept. Of course, this was not intentional, these things happen. More often than not, the classes I miss are with Mr. Carpio who can tolerate anything but tardiness; that is just bad luck.

I challenge you guys to send a video of you getting ready for school (keep it PG) in which you beat my record of getting ready in under two minutes. I’ll make my own. See your videos soon!

Santiago DeGrandchant

I’m Santiago de Grandchant, a 16-year-old junior who loves soccer and horseback riding. I am widely regarded as the next Barack Obama although sometimes people confuse me with Schwarzenegger.

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