Fashion During the Capitol Storming

Yes, the storming of the Capitol on behalf of non-peaceful protestors was horrific. People died, the president got impeached, and the Capitol was vandalized, a lose-lose situation no matter how you see it. However, some protestors had sauce and drip we cannot ignore.

By far the most stylish protestor was the Viking-Bear Grylls protestor. Using nothing less than animal horns, animal skins, no shirt, khaki pants, and black shoes, this man is ready for the runway. That is one mean-looking dude right there. In addition to his awesome apparel, he painted his face with patriotic colors and showed off his gangster tattoos. This man had the ladies begging despite ending up in jail.

Next, we have the man with the shockingly attractive beard who took the Capitol’s podium. This man’s hair is flawless. Natural waves, gold color, I bet the ladies are as jealous as I was when my friends got a new Beyblade. We need to understand the man; like who wouldn’t take a souvenir when storming the Capitol. It was said that he later tried to sell the podium on eBay, or at least the memes say so.

Last we have the man who just didn’t care and took one of the coldest pictures in history. I mean, if this isn’t the man’s profile picture, then he failed as a human being. Imagine the scenes if this man created a Tinder account; thank got I don’t have sisters. The man has a white beard that just looks fantastic, he matches his black flannel shirt with his brown leather boots, and he has the ‘thumbs up’. If this man doesn’t radiate confidence I don’t know who does.

Santiago DeGrandchant

I’m Santiago de Grandchant, a 16-year-old junior who loves soccer and horseback riding. I am widely regarded as the next Barack Obama although sometimes people confuse me with Schwarzenegger.

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