ArtsSatirical

The Best Art Movement: Contemporary Art

The only way a culture can be remembered is by their art. Yes, inventions may be more important in the future, but I’m sure you can remember who drew “Sunflowers”, as opposed to who invented the first car/automobile*. 

Everyone can remember the fantastic works of art of the Renaissance made by Mike and Angella, Raphell Al, and Leonardo di Caprio. They made wonderful pieces of art by being insanely detailed in their works. 

Then came Modern Art, which added a spin to art, showing that not everything needed to be detailed to look good. It included works like Picasso’s … uh… face, probably. 

Unlike the previous art movements, Contemporary art is very difficult to understand, and takes a lot of effort. Not anyone can make these masterpieces. 

Take a look at these three pictures. The first one is a set of boxes; the first two colored. Notice the amount of color in the two boxes. This artist challenges common sense by only including blue, cyan, and white voids. Absolutely beautiful. I’d buy it for ten million dollars. The next piece of art is a collection of sweatpants with a bit of paint on the sweatpant. I can already tell this artist spent seven months trying to create it. Look at the beauty of dirty used sweatpants gathering dust on the wall. This artist said to themselves, “You know what the museum needs more of? Sweatpants.” I don’t understand how one person can make that. Heck, even I don’t have that many sweatpants. The third and final piece is a simple dline moving from place to place. As with the others, it must have taken ages. The line quality is like that of a two-year-old, bold, new, messy, and unique. You will never see such perfection from any other art movement.

In conclusion, Contemporary art is all about devolving into prehistorical roots, where one cannot tell apart monkey scribbles on the wall between contemporary art. The effort put into these art pieces surpass even those of Leonardo. It should be illegal to not buy one of these million-dollar-worth pieces. I commend everybody that stares at these pieces of wet bread for more than one minute. I hate these.

*If you are wondering, Pablo Picasso drew “Sunflowers” while Karl Benz made the first automobile.

Mateo Andrade

It is I, Mateo. I enjoy rainy days and fauna. They call me funny. May not be accurate.

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