Satirical

The Best Pick Up Lines of 2020

In times of a pandemic, love has become more scarce. No more fancy letters, no more roses, no more poems, and no more serenades; boys, you need to adapt and overcome the challenges that stand ahead of us. Capturing a girl’s attention through messages is no small feat. You have about 2 texts to stand out from all the other naughty boys, and this is not easy. Thankfully, like an angel sent from above, I have come to rescue you and turn the situation around. Scientific research has proven that the following pickup lines guarantee love during the pandemic. 

Let’s start with one of the most effective pickup lines ever. Please note that this pickup line only works with girls who are into soccer. You’ll start by saying the following: “Are you a soccer fan?” The normal response to this question will be something along the lines of “yes, I do.” And no, this does not mean she is ready to marry you. The next part of the pickup line is the following: ” I like Ronaldo, but I would get Messi for you.” Congratulations, you have won over her attention which sets the stage for a more elaborate conversation, hence, love. 

This next pickup line is more subtle than the last one. This one works with anyone who has heard of Star Wars. Start by asking if she likes Star Wars. The normal response to this question is something like,” Yeah, why?” To that, you will respond with the following: “Because Yoda one for me.” Boys, remember to keep these pickup lines on the low; we do not want them to get overused, and then become ineffective. 

I’ll leave you guys with this last one, and I assure you this one will work. Just say the following: ” Wow, slow down. Your license will get suspended for driving me crazy.” Simple, but gets things going. 

You’re welcome. Be interesting and keep the conversation going. Boys, you got this. Peace out. 

Santiago DeGrandchant

I’m Santiago de Grandchant, a 16-year-old junior who loves soccer and horseback riding. I am widely regarded as the next Barack Obama although sometimes people confuse me with Schwarzenegger.

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